Wednesday's Woe - Out For The Count...

hope …is what keeps me alive

Wednesday's Woe

Out For The Count...

In July, 2011, my husband Tommy was diagnosed with cancer. 

In January, 2012, Rollin, our first-born son, was diagnosed with cancer. 

Then, in July of 2013, Tommy was diagnosed with cancer… again. 

3 strikes, and I was out for the count. 

Something happened with this third declaration of this dreaded enemy, Cancer, trying to ravage my loved ones, that it knocked me to my knees. 

Literally. 

As I got down on my knees to once again make my urgent cries to Heaven, I hit Stalemate. 

Suddenly, I didn't know how to pray. 

I felt assaulted by Fear. 

For reasons unknown, this time my urgent cries I had prayed for my precious child, my daughter Merry Katherine, came to the forefront... And, as urgent as those cries had been to my Heavenly Father to keep her safe, it felt, at that almost-seven-year anniversary of her death, that my cries had been denied...

Suddenly, I felt an abject helplessness in daring to raise my cries to my Lord yet again. What if these prayers were answered with a Denial? 

I couldn't take it. I couldn't risk yet another LOSS of another precious loved one. 

As much as I loved God and had always felt I could trust him, suddenly, those seven years, and 3 cancer strikes later, I hit the proverbial wall. Spiritually, I couldn't move.  

I felt stymied. How was I to trust my prayers this time? Urgent prayers years ago that seemingly culminated in death… How could I risk that again? I couldn't. So I had nowhere to turn.

This spiritual drought that felt like a winter-freeze-suddenly-dropped-on-my-heart, leaving me quaking. 

It turned into quite a long season of drought…

Thankfully, so thankfully, our God is faithful. It is only in Him that true Hope originates. It was not up to me to dredge up some hope, for in the state I was in, that couldn't be done (as if it can ever be done in the flesh!).

But thanks be to God that His Word declares His truth to us,

The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope. 

~Psalm 34:18 CEV

And, Rescue, He did. 

For thus said the high and exalted One, inhabiting eternity, and holy is His name: "In the high and holy place I dwell, And with the bruised and humble of spirit, To revive the spirit of the humble, And to revive the heart of bruised ones,"

~Psalm 34:18, YLT

What an amazing, faithful God we serve!!!

And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? 

My only hope is in You.

Psalm 39:7 ~New Living Translation

~~~

2 But as I stood there in silence—

not even speaking of good things—

the turmoil within me grew worse.

9 I am silent before You; I won’t say a word,

12 Hear my prayer, O LORD!

Listen to my cries for help!

Don’t ignore my tears.

And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?

My only hope is in You.

Psalm 39:2,9a,12a,7 NLT

(Several capitalizations of God's name, mine)

Scripture Graphics, thanks to Pinterest

Translations of the Bible Used:
CEV: Contemporary English Version of The Holy Bible
YLT: Young's Literal Translation
NLT: New Living Translation

Tuesday's Trust - "Morning is Coming...but Also the Night..."

Tuesday's Trust

"Morning is Coming... but also the Night"

Lord, my child is toying with disaster...

Day after day Lord, I'm on the alert.

Night after night I stand guard at my post...

But here comes a policeman in uniform

saying, Your child has fallen, lying shattered

on the ground... At this, my body is racked

with pain ~ Pangs seize me like a woman in labor.

Bewildered by what I "see," by what I "hear," staggered,

My heart falters; I tremble as safety I longed for becomes horror...

Disaster strikes ~ Like whirlwinds sweeping through our land,

the Invader comes from the Land of Terror.

A dire vision is shown at hand...

The Traitor betrays, the Looter takes loot, and

I can't be consoled for my baby is severed

from my side. ~ Death stabs a knife through my heart.

My life starts th' unraveling to surely fall apart...

In the Valley of Violence, there's tumult,

trampling, and terror, for there were breaches

In her defenses. I can't be consoled

for my baby girl is destroyed, ripped from my reaches...

The Lord calls me to weep, wail, and moan,

but I say, I waste away; I waste away,

for my child is left in ruins; she is gone!

Let me weep bitterly. Don't try to console! She's gone!

And now Terror and Pit and Snare await.

If I flee from Trauma's Terror, I fall in Grief's Pit.

If I climb from Grief's Pit, I fall in Terror's Snare...

Such is the cross this grieving mother must bear...

God says,

I will bring to an end all the groaning Death instilled...

Yes, the taunt of the Ruthless one is stilled...

The shroud that haunts, that enfolded my child,

the Lord Almighty destroys on a Hill ~

His Son bought peace ~ for my child, reconciled,

for He will swallow up death forever.

Our Sovereign Lord will wipe away tears from our faces.

He removes all our sin and all death's disgraces.

He'll restore to me my child who was severed,

restoring my peace while to Him I am tethered

to keep me from falling apart

as Grief stabs a knife through this mother's heart...

O people, crushed on death's threshing floor here,

I'll tell you words from the Lord Almighty I hear...

I will comfort through pain, anguish, and fright,

For Morning is coming...but also the Night...

I live in Night's Now while longing for Morning's Not Yet...

Meanwhile by trust and faith, I'm held in God's safety net,

While Christ holds my little lamb tenderly, to sweetly pet...

Morning is Coming...but also the Night."

Isaiah 21:12a

{as inspired by the poetic usage of words effectively capturing God's redemptive action in His history with His people: Isaiah 21 and 22 of The Bible, God's Holy Word}

Poem - "Morning is Coming...but also the Night..." - Angie Bennett Prince 9/19/10 (Poem is personalizing the inspiring words of Isaiah, chapters 21 and 22 to my child's story of terror before rescue)

In a Prison In Your Mind? - Monday's Mourning Ministry

In a Prison In Your Mind?

Monday's Mourning Ministry

I Bless Your Name

Over the past several weeks of mind-boggling taunts from the Evil One, I felt I was becoming a prisoner of my own mind. How precious this week to "stumble upon" Selah's comforting song "I Bless Your Name" in which Selah proclaims,

"Some midnight hour if you should find, you're in a prison in your mind, reach out and praise, defy those chains, and they will fall in Jesus name."

And that is exactly what I had done. I cried out -

"Get behind me, Satan. I bind you in Jesus' name. Get away from me!" And he did. He had to step aside at that precious name of Jesus.

I pray if you are going through any similar taunts or temptations that you too may find victory through Jesus over the Taunter and thus will find your chains are loosed and you are free, and together we can sing,

"We Bless Your Name...You are

the Life, the Truth, the Way."

I Bless Your Name

Selah

Lyrics

In prisoners' chains

With bleeding stripes

Paul and Silas prayed that night

And in their pain began to sing

Their chains were loosed

And they were free

I bless Your Name

I bless Your Name

I give You honor, give You praise

You are the Life, the Truth, the Way

I bless Your Name

I bless Your Name

Some midnight hour

If you should find

You're in a prison in your mind

Reach out and praise

Defy those chains

And they will fall

In Jesus' Name

We bless Your Name

We bless Your Name

We give You honor, give You praise

You are the Life, the Truth, the Way

We bless Your Name

We bless Your Name

You are the Life, the Truth, the Way

We bless Your Name

We bless Your Name

Picture via images.google.com

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone!

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone!

My son Nathan called me one day from Lee University where he is in graduate school. He wanted me to listen to the song below as he felt it applied so well to Merry Katherine. I wept when I heard it knowing that indeed, today she is singing,

"Amazing grace, my chains are gone!"

Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone

by Chris Tomlin

Searching the Bible on Behalf of us Bereaved Parents

as we Grieve Our Great Loss…

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you,

who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

^{for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.}

1 Peter 1:3-9 NIV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFxArMeRDI

The White Bridge

The White Bridge

Looking within my imagination,

I see the White Bridge you crossed on that night

From dreary earth to Glorification:

O what a glorious scene to my sight!

The bridge, made of purest gold, transparent—

And yet, it gave off sheens of whitest light...

Light from Savior-Spirit-God apparent,

Shining rays of Love of the purest white.

Th’ bridge’s span quite wide –from here to Heaven–

With no undergirding that I could see,

Nor could I see the spiritual leaven

That transmuted your soul t’ be heavenly…

But I saw the delight in Abba’s eyes

As He cradled you up into His arms;

Such passionate love our language defies

As He grabbed you away from Satan’s harms…

From th’ blackest evil Satan could concoct

To Whitest Love whose Goodness evil blocked,

Stormed Satan’s stronghold, whisking you away—

Satan crushed, thrown on the ground, left shell-shocked;

Helpless God’s plan t’ circumvent, there he lay.

And the look on your face was ecstasy

As you flew from the ground to Abba’s arms,

Nestling in their loving warmth so snugly,

Thrilled Amazing Grace so deftly disarms.

Now all I can do is quietly stare

As I watch you cross amidst the night air,

Awed, I see your flight from Nightmare t’ God’s Care;

Now God kisses your face, caresses your hair…

See Psalm 18 and Revelation 21

(Jesus said,) “I tell you the truth, whoever hears My word and believes Him who sent Me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. John 5:24

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies” John 11:25

But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. Romans 8:10

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose…And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified. Romans 8:28,30

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in Heaven always see the face of My Father in Heaven . . . . In the same way your Father in Heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. Matthew 18:10,14

(Jesus said,) “So he (the once rebellious son) got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” Luke 15:20-24

...Jesus... (said), Suppose one of you has a 100 sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the 99 in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there is more rejoicing in Heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous persons who do not need to repent. Luke 15:3-7

All scripture quoted is from The New International Version of The Holy Bible Painting: The White Bridge by John Henry Twachtman, c1885 Poetry prompts: scene/seen, span, stare/stair as prompted by http://simplysnickers.blogspot.com/2009/08/poetry-prompt-through-sunday-august-9.html Encouraging thoughts about my child and her Savior as prompted by http://www.mcklinky.com/blog_hop.asp

Written 8/5/09 - The White Bridge - Angie Bennett Prince

Her Father's Love

Her Father's Love

You had the pow’r to save my baby girl . . .

When she was sad, You came to comfort her,

When she was harmed, Your protection would unfurl,

When she was lonely, You came t’ visit her.

When she sinned, Your own Lamb came t’ take her sin,

When she would cry, You wiped her tears away;

When she was estranged, You came, took her in,

When she was taunted, You kept th’ Fiend at bay.

When she was vulnerable, You gave strength,

When she faltered, You’d go to any length,

Ev’n parted the heav’ns to come, rescue her,

Sought th’ cherubims, on their wings You mounted . . .

You battled when foes were too strong for her,

In waters too high, You took hold of her.

When she could not hear, Your voice resounded.

But when You spoke, and she refused, You warned,

But when she still turned You away, You mourned . . .

And when she ran from You, asserting her will,

You let her go, but You loved her still . . .

When the Enemy pounced, her body killed,

You took her to Heaven, Your Love revealed.

But long before the bells for her life pealed,

Her Father’s Love made sure her soul was sealed.

Based on Psalm 18

Picture: Angel_of_the_Aurora_2A.jpg on http://www.skychasers.net/sue.htm

Written 6/16/09 – Her Father’s Love – Angie Bennett Prince

A Daddy’s Love

A Daddy’s Love

Your daddy would pick you up, swing you ‘round—
Ev’ry day when you ran home from th’ bus stop;
When you’d see him, straight to his arms you’d bound
After backpack’s slung off your arms to drop.

Sometimes he’d surprise you and hide from you,
Espying from behind a bush, he’d peek
Till you looked until he came into view—
A modified version of hide-and-seek.

When it rained, he’d drive to th’ bus stop and park
To keep you from having to walk in th’ rain . . .
With him as your daddy, your life was a lark;
You had nothing to lose and all to gain.

Your friend saw your life: “You so have it made,”
As she saw you so surrounded with love . . .

If love could prevent . . . you’d never have strayed . . .
T’ be picked up in Love . . . by Father above.

So my dear child, still surrounded with Love . . .
Rest in peace, in your Father’s arms of Love . . .

But this Father’s Day, just look down and peek –
Though now you’ll “hide,” your daddy will e’er seek ...
Till one day you will come into full view,
And he’ll evermore celebrate with you!



Poetry prompts park, peek, pick
Carl Larson’s painting. “Brita and I” (Self Portrait), 1895 for http://simplysnickers.blogspot.com/2009/05/poetry-prompt-through-sunday-may-31.html

Written 5/30/09 – A Daddy’s Love – Angie Bennett Prince