Friday's Faith - A Day in the Life of Grief

Friday's Faith

A Day in the Life of Grief

or

Whoever said,

"God's in His Heaven; all's right with the world"?

I'm depressed today... I don't know why.

The day is pretty, no cloud in the sky.

Toad frog squats patiently, so still on th' rail.

Gnatcatchers zoom by; how quickly they sail.

Flowers are blooming... Racoon's in the yard!

I am still breathing... Why is grief so hard?

My dog is playful. My husband is sweet.

Tearing up, I feel lost and incomplete.

"God's in His Heaven. All's right with the world?"

If this is so, where is my baby girl?

...She smiles and says, "I'm right here, Mommy!"

My tears fall. I get a hug from Tommy.

I hug him back. I smile at her, wipe tears...

Again God's soothing faithfully appears.

When my depression begins to shift...

I feel God's comfort, and my sadness lift.

Such is a day in the life of grief:

You think you will die. Then God sends relief.

God, bless all mommies and daddies in our grief!

Now Tommy calls out, "The hawk chased the dove!"

Life...then death... Nature plays it out above...

Paradox of Nature: Death mixed in with Life...

till God returns from Heaven, t' end all darkness rife

when He commands:

"Death, be destroyed by Life!"

*******

(Now th' raccoon eats from our dog's feeder:

Th' raccoon posing as a dog, what a sight!

Th' brazenness of nature...in broad daylight!)

******

In solitary silence we listen with great attentiveness to the voice that calls us the beloved. God speaks to the deepest strata of our souls, into our self-hatred and shame, our narcissism, and takes us through the night into the daylight of His truth:

"Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are Mine. You are precious in My eyes, because you are honored and I love you . . . the mountains may depart, the hills be shaken, but My love for you will never leave you and My covenant of peace with you will never be shaken" (Isaiah 43:1,4; 54:10).

~Brennan Manning, Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging

picture: http://www.fotosearch.com/bu/CSP053/k0533900/

"God's in His heaven" quote, Robert Browning (1812-1889)

Wednesday's Woe - Parting With Parts of You: Little Red Truck

Our beach trip (taken in her little red truck)

August 16, 2005

In less than one year, she would be gone...

Wednesday's Woe

Parting With Parts of You:

Little Red Truck

I said goodbye to your truck yesterday;

For these years it has seemed a part of you--

To have parted before? There was no way!

It would have been more than I then could do.

I cried a few times and patted its side

All the time hearing, "Mommy, it's all good..."

"...I don't need it now," I hear you confide.

Why is it baby, I wish you would?

The truck was so you, all pretty and red,

Yet rugged and tough to slide through the mud.

...I couldn't have you, but had it instead...

Shopping-, beach-trips, mem'ries...my heart goes thud...

From here on out, I'll part with parts of you...

May God give me grace each time we must part.

But nothing compares to your soul made new,

And hearing your voice speak to my heart...

Picture: Made on our beach trip together (in her little red truck) August 16, 2005 - In less than one year, she would be gone...

Poem - Parting with Parts of You: Your Little Red Truck - Angie Bennett Prince - 1/27/10

Monday's Mourning Ministry - When I Get Where I'm Going

Monday's Mourning Ministry

When I Get Where I'm Going

The last beach trip Merry Katherine and I went on was in August, 2005. She had just bought a Country Music CD called "Believe," and she wanted me to hear it as we rode to the beach together. The CD had several wonderful songs on it that I am sure I will want to share with you sometime. This song of Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton, called "When I Get Where I'm Going" was on it, and I loved it at the time. Now, looking back at it, I am amazed that we listened to it together just one year before she was killed. At the time of course, we had no idea that "When I Get Where I'm Going" was exactly where she would be going soon... to Heaven...on August 2, 2006. The adventure that it describes sounds just like what Merry Katherine would want to do when she would get there, with her adventuresome spirt...

When I Get Where I'm Going

Brad Paisley

(Featuring Dolly Parton)

When I get where I'm going

On the far side of the sky

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion

And run my fingers through his mane

Or I might find out what it's like

To ride a drop of rain

[Chorus]

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

Yeah when I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy

And he'll match me step for step

And I'll tell him how I missed him

Every minute since he left

Then I'll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

Yeah when I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness

In this world we stumble through

All these questions I can't answer

So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going

And I see my maker's face

I'll stand forever in the light

Of his amazing grace

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

Hallelujah

I will love and have no fear

When I get where I'm going

Yeah when I get where I'm going

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMLmlHfehQ

From gate to Gate

From gate to Gate




Of Mommy and Child, oh the times divine,
Short though they were, they were God’s sweet lifeline,
Held tightly at times with this heart of mine,
To cherish each moment, sweet times benign . . .



When you left, I had to plant my garden lush,
With flowers that would stand in a straight line—
Otherwise, my worried mind would not hush . . .
The flowers . . . would obey . . . their bound’ry line.




The days drug on that you were not yet home;
51 days on the streets you would roam,
And then you called—you wanted to come home;
I rushed to get you, praying for shalom . . .



Before you left that day, we’d asked you t’ stay—
I took what was t’ be my last look at you;
We hugged so tight, and yet … you pulled away;
You were nineteen; what else could Mommy do …?




You ran down the steps and out of our gate,

And I

won’t get to see you

till




Heav’n’s Gate . . .

Painting: The Garden at Pontoise by Camille Pissarro, 1877

Poetry prompts line, look, lush from
http://simplysnickers.blogspot.com/2009/07/poetry-prompt-through-sunday-july-12.html


Written 7/5/09 – From gate to Gate – Angie Bennett Prince