Wednesday's Woe - "Be Kind"

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."

Quote ~Ian Maclaren (pseudonym for John Watson, 1850-1907)

Wednesday's Woe

"Be Kind"

Let's face it, we know that we are fighting a hard battle, Every. Day. And we need the kindness from one another as we struggle on. Our LORD reminds us of this too, as well as guiding us as to how best to fight through our battles. 

The graphic above says it well, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." However, I believe we have wrongly attributed the saying to Plato. Wikipedia attributes the quote to Reverend John Watson (1850-1907), a Scottish author and theologian who used the pseudonym "Ian Maclaren":

"It is thought that Maclaren was the original source of the quotation “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle,” now widely misattributed to Plato or Philo of Alexandria. The oldest known instance of this quotation is in the 1897 Christmas edition ofThe British Weekly: 

“Be pitiful (e.g., full of pity, or tender/kind), for every man is fighting a hard battle."

Wikipedia's assessment rings true for me as the quote does not seem to resonate with the language of the times of Plato. 

The essence of the quote, however, is elucidated best I believe in the following quote from Reverend John Watson himself:

"This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world, with strong temptations, with doubts and fears, with wounds of the past which have skinned over, but which smart when they are touched. It is a fact, however surprising. 

And when this occurs to us we are moved to deal kindly with him, to bid him be of good cheer, to let him understand that we are also fighting a battle; we are bound not to irritate him, nor press hardly upon him nor help his lower self."

Amen! May we all be as kind as we possibly can to one another!

On the evening of Mother's Day, Tommy and I watched a movie (foreign, with subtitles) that had been nominated for an Academy Award. It was a very difficult movie to watch in that it included much of the worst of human nature, but then again Tommy always reminds me, we forget that the Bible is full of horrendous human acts played out in the midst of families... 

This movie was one of those tragic stories that challenge you to the pit of your gut, heart, and soul, it is so humanly painful. But, oh my, the lessons it holds for us... 

The movie is aptly entitled, "Incendiaries," but as hard as it was to watch, I can honestly say, for me it was life-changing, reminding me to ever bear in mind every human walking the face of this earth has his/her battles, most of which we would never know just from superficial contact. God really used it in my heart and soul as I was moved to compassion in deeper ways.... I can honestly say, a movie that I watched in fear and trepidation was one of the best Mother's Day presents I ever could have received.

Our LORD sends a similar message as Maclaren's through His apostle Paul in Ephesians, when He reminds us, "our struggle is not against flesh and blood…" and calls us to pray for all of His people as we all all struggle in this world…

"10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  

"14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 

"18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should."

~Ephesians 6:10-20 NIV (highlights and some capitalization, mine)

We are reminded in the Scripture we likely all memorized as a little child:

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

~Ephesians 4:32 NASB

And this,

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

~Ephesians 4:29 NIV

May our LORD continue to help us as we struggle daily with our deep grief-and-trauma along with all the other difficulties we and many others face as we walk through this fallen world!

~Blessings to each of you~

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Maclaren 

Wednesday's Woe - Complicating the Simple?

Wednesday's Woe

Complicating the Simple?

In learning anything, it seems the typical challenge is to assess the complex and attempt to make it simple. Take for example, learning the internet. How many of us were overwhelmed at the prospect of understanding such a massive and complicated concept? But when facing the complex, we learn that if we can break what is otherwise complex down into its simpler components, we can begin to have some learning success.

What then are we Child-Loss parents faced with, but the very opposite? Our struggles predominantly seem to be dealing rather with the complexity of the simple things in life! How do you grapple with that?!

Going through the many phases of the Anniversary Syndrome over the past two weeks, it seemed to exhaust us and slow down our ability to bounce back through life's normal, simple demands. A simple party for our grand-daughter, who turned one-year-old on a day in between Merry Katherine's death date and her funeral date, then became a rather complex issue. We knew we couldn't do a large party with both sets of grandparent families; we don't do crowds as there are just too many dynamics that can overwhelm our already overwhelmed systems. So we thought we were wisely suggesting that we wait till the end of that week after the usual festivities were done, and our little family could have a more private party. Sounds good in theory, but after the work week was over and the day was approaching, we each began to realize we still were not up to it. So, we had to cancel the festivities! What should be a simple thing had catapulted into a very complex one emotionally.

Getting a good night's sleep now seems to be complicated, and getting regular exercise that was once fairly simple, has now become complicated. Things we didn't give a second thought to before, now have to be dealt with on a different level. The simple task of cleaning out a bedroom becomes complex because of what time of year it is for us. Going to a store to buy a gift should be simple, but no, it too became complicated.

We've found that the danger is not so much in the complication, as it is in accepting ourselves for where we are and allowing ourselves to let down others' expectations. The danger then is in doing a number on ourselves instead of being kind to ourselves ~ recognizing that even the simple tasks can become a big issue when our systems are so overwhelmed. We worked hard to support one another to pace ourselves through those hard days until we could find our "new normal."

One of my sons asked me what I thought happened that wouldn't allow us to have a festive party. I looked at him in shock and asked him, "Are you kidding?! Are you wanting a rational response for an irrational situation? I don't have one to give! We don't totally understand it ourselves."

Usually the complex things in life take a lot of energy and effort as we need to figure out a strategy to tackle them, and then work the strategy. But typically if we can break those complex tasks down to make them simple ones helps us to function better. But what do we do when we are continually dealing with the complex so that when the simple things come along, there is just nothing left in us to tackle them? We sort of understand it, but how can anyone else around us "get it"? Typically they don't, and we just have to be tolerant and patient with our broken selves.









Picture - Challenger Sudoku puzzle, thanks to Google Images