Friday's Faith - My Visit

Friday's Faith

My Visit

Tommy and I were blessed to have our brand new (almost 7-months old now!) grandbaby "Ellie" ("Merry Ellie," named after Merry Katherine) stay with us for about five hours yesterday afternoon while Rollin and Stephanie went to the doctor. They met the radiologist who will do Rollin's radiation therapy (he will have 2 rounds of daily 4-week radiation treatments coming up for him as a preventative measure to ward off potential cancer cells) since he had his testicular cancer removed almost 2 months ago). Please pray!

Our time with Ellie was very sweet, as usual. And ~as usual~ I got triggered back to my own baby girl, Merry Katherine. . .

Ellie enjoys trying out new noises, so I decided to sing to her. Tommy and I were sitting outside on our patio with her, all three of us swinging on our glider. The wind was blowing steadily through the trees, so automatically, out of my mouth flew the song,

"Hear the wind blow dear;

Hear the wind blow.

Angels in heaven hear the wind blow."

And immediately the tears began to flow down my cheeks (even as they flow now) as I pictured these angels being in Heaven next to Merry Katherine . . .

But almost as soon as the tears came, I "felt" Merry Katherine say,

"I'm right here Mommy!"

quickly reminding me she hovers near, so much closer than I tend to think. I smiled and was comforted, but the tears still flowed.

All this time, Ellie is cooing along with me, also bringing me joy amidst my sorrow. Tommy ran and got me some tissues so I could wipe my eyes and nose. Then I read to Ellie from one of Merry Katherine's tiny little childhood books while Ellie "turned" the pages for me. (Tears are still rolling down my cheek as I write.)

It has been a tough week with clients in crisis. How sweet that on my day off, God let me enjoy my visit with my two favorite girls in all the world . . . Merry, and Merry Ellie ~ God is good. Grief is still so hard, but my baby girl is okay, and she is nearby, smiling even as I cry. Yes, God is good.

Pictures, mine

Friday's Faith - If Heaven Had a Phone...

Friday's Faith

If Heaven Had a Phone...

If Heaven had a phone

And I could call and talk to you,

Reaching across miles and miles, through distances unknown,

What would be the words I would want to say to you

I've "said" only with tears, Baby, to you since you've been gone...?

First of all, I love you with all my heart~

My tears fill many buckets with that love;

I'm just not the same since we've been apart:

Life's lost so much meaning since you went above...

(Words are so insufficient to say what th' heart must say;

It seems my heart's cry to you speaks better than words any day...)

My tears speak a language that's so hard to translate;

They send their cries through sorrow straight through to Heav'ns Gate...

They seem to know my heart, more than just do words alone;

Perhaps my tears are better than talking on the phone...!

And baby girl when you appear to me with your great big smile,

It has a language of its own that transcends many-a-mile.

Perhaps God has a "phone" plan better than any other

When th' spirit signals messages back 'nd forth, from th' child to th' mother...

A communication system that's been there since before you were born

That conveys love's messages to you better than any human horn.

So who needs a phone plan when we can "talk" through the air:

When hearts cry out one to another, each beat becomes a prayer...

Poem - If Heaven Had a Phone... - Angie Bennett Prince - 2/24/2011

Wednesday's Woe - Would'st Thou Take My Grief Away?

Wednesday's Woe

Would'st Thou Take My Grief Away?

Grief fills the room up of my absent child,

lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,

puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words.

~William Shakespeare

***

Shakespeare: Grief fills the room up of my absent child

Constance fears that her son Prince Arthur, heir to the thone of England, will be murdered at the order of his uncle, King John. He does indeed die while trying to escape from his murderers.

CONSTANCE...

I will instruct my sorrows to be proud;

To me and to the state of my great grief

Let kings assemble; for my grief's so great

That no supporter but the huge firm earth

Can hold it up: here I and sorrows sit;

Here is my throne, bid kings come bow to it.

Seats herself on the ground

[In a later scene]

CONSTANCE

No, I defy all counsel, all redress,

But that which ends all counsel, true redress,

Death, death; O amiable lovely death!

CARDINAL PANDULPH

Lady, you utter madness, and not sorrow.

CONSTANCE

I am not mad: this hair I tear is mine;

My name is Constance; I was Geffrey's wife;

Young Arthur is my son, and he is lost:

I am not mad: I would to heaven I were!

For then, 'tis like I should forget myself:

O, if I could, what grief should I forget!

Preach some philosophy to make me mad,

And thou shalt be canonized, cardinal;

For being not mad but sensible of grief,

My reasonable part produces reason

How I may be deliver'd of these woes,

And teaches me to kill or hang myself:

If I were mad, I should forget my son,

Or madly think a babe of clouts were he:

I am not mad; too well, too well I feel

The different plague of each calamity....

And, father cardinal, I have heard you say

That we shall see and know our friends in heaven:

If that be true, I shall see my boy again;

For since the birth of Cain, the first male child,

To him that did but yesterday suspire,

There was not such a gracious creature born.

But now will canker-sorrow eat my bud

And chase the native beauty from his cheek

And he will look as hollow as a ghost,

As dim and meagre as an ague's fit,

And so he'll die; and, rising so again,

When I shall meet him in the court of heaven

I shall not know him: therefore never, never

Must I behold my pretty Arthur more.

CARDINAL PANDULPH

You hold too heinous a respect of grief.

CONSTANCE

He talks to me that never had a son.

KING PHILIP

You are as fond of grief as of your child.

CONSTANCE

Grief fills the room up of my absent child,

Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,

Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,

Remembers me of all his gracious parts,

Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form:

Then have I reason to be fond of grief?

Fare you well: had you such a loss as I,

I could give better comfort than you do...

O Lord! my boy, my Arthur, my fair son!

My life, my joy, my food, my all the world!

My widow-comfort, and my sorrows' cure!

--Shakespeare (1564-1616), King John, Act III

*******

And to Shakespeare's poignant words, I add my verse:

Grief fills the heart up of my absent child,

In my minds eye, appears and talks with me,

True to her nature, personality...

Upbeat, laughter, e'er encouraging smile,

E'er reminding me she IS here, alive,

Yet with spirit-whole, in rapt purity!

Then have I reason to be fond of grief...

'Tis my Father's gift, brings me sweet relief!

Fare you well you who bidst me not to grieve,

Disdainers, from my presence now, must leave!

Oh Lord! My child! My Merry Katherine!

My life! My joy! My baby girl! My world!

My sorrow's cure: your sweet smile, my baby girl!

picture: http://twitpic.com/wgqp9

Shakespeare: http://www.consolatio.com/2005/04/grief_fills_the.html

Tuesday's Trust - Tsunami of Tears ~ Fighting Grief's Storms

Tuesday's Trust

Tsunami of Tears

~

Fighting Grief's Storms

Soon to approach three-and-three-quarters-years...

Was today the first day I shed no tears?

At th' same time I feel you're more and more near...

{I could not bear it if your spirit weren't here!}

(There IS a cloud of witnesses~(about that) God's clear!)

Perhaps new normal's beginning t' appear...

But now...I remember...your birthday's near...

Grief's tsunami of tears to come, I fear...

(I remind myself:)

Little lamb lost? You are lost no more!

Our Savior warned and wooed and drew you in.

He had already died to settle the score,

washing you in His Lamb's blood, cleansed from sin.

"This child of mine was dead and is alive again!

She was lost but has now been found!"

The angels rejoice with a joyful sound!

This mother's heart's seared, yet warmed within:

You left my gate--God opened His--welcomed you in.

But even though you now bask in God's arms,

You fly to me when tears sound their alarms!

{I cry now, thinking of your tenderness to me

(when) you attend my heart with sweet sensitivity...}

My tears melt as your presence my heart warms,

~God's wondrous provision to fight Grief's storms...

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

~Hebrews 12:1

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

The son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son."

But the father said to his servants,

"Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.

"For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

So they began to celebrate.

~Jesus, describing the Heavenly Father's love for His children, wandering though we may have been... ~Luke 15:20-24

Poem - Tsunami of Tears~Fighting Grief's Storms - Angie Bennett Prince 2/28/10