Saturday's Sayings - Mother's Day Messages of Love from Across the Veil…

Saturday's Sayings

 Mother's Day Messages of Love from Across the Veil… 

Messages of Love

To, and From, 

Our Child in Heaven…

Parent to Child in Heaven:

Now that you are gone, 

my heart is broken.

But because you were once here,

it is completely filled with Love.

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

Don't weep at my grave,

For I am not there,

I've a date with a butterfly

To dance in the air.

I'll be singing in the sunshine,

Wild and free,

Playing tag with the wind,

While I'm waiting for thee.

~Angels of the Heart

Picture, Author Unknown

(This particular writing makes me tear up; I can just see my Merry Katherine saying this…)

~~~~~

 Parent to Child in Heaven...

I heard your voice in the wind today

and I turned to see your face;

The warmth of the wind caressed me

as I stood silently in place.

I felt your touch in the sun today

as its warmth filled the sky;

I closed my eyes for your embrace

and my spirit soared high.

I saw your eyes in the window pane

as I watched the falling rain;

It seemed as each raindrop fell

it quietly said your name.

I held you close in my heart today

it made me feel complete;

You may have died...but you are not gone

you will always be a part of me.

As long as the sun shines...

the wind blows...

the rain falls...

You will live on inside of me forever

for that is all my heart knows.

~ Bonnie Breuilly-Pike, 

"Under Orion's Sky...You Live" from "Dancing with the Spirits of Shadowplay"

"Holding Hands" painting by Judy Mackey

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

I'm no longer by your side,

But there's no need to weep

I've left sweet recollections

I'm hoping you will keep.

Eternal joy and memories

stay in our hearts forever,

strengthening our special bond

That parting cannot sever.

And if times of loneliness

bring sorrow and dismay,

don't despair, for I am there

Just a memory away.

~ Rita S. Beer

Painting by Claire Clements

~~~~~

 Parent to Child in Heaven...

When I close my eyes

You are here

Your charisma, your cheer, your tenderness

I feel you here

When I close my eyes

You are with me

Your spirit, your beauty, your charm

I feel you with me

When I close my eyes

You are in my arms

Your warmth, your compassion, your love

I feel you in my arms

No matter how far apart

Nor what the circumstance

I feel you here with me, in my arms - always

When I close my eyes

~ W. Jason Duncan 

Painting by Hyatt Moore

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

ALWAYS WITH YOU

Your heart may be heavy and aching,

Now that I'm no longer here.

But, though you may shed many tears,

Let memories banish your fear.

My arms are no longer around you.

My lips cannot speak of my love.

But, I'm with you in spirit each day,

As I look down from Heaven above.

The house may be silent without me.

It doesn't mean I can't be there.

And, every night that you sleep,

Our love, in your dreams, we still share.

As you continue, alone on earth,

I'll be with you each step of the way.

I can still be the strength that you need,

To carry you through each new day.

Although, I know you can't see me,

Our spirits are joined as before.

So, whenever you feel uplifted,

Know it's me just loving you more.

In Heaven, we're given a gift

To still tend to the ones left behind.

So, smile when you think of me.

I remain in your heart and your mind.

~ Marian Jones

Painting, Author Unknown

~~~~~

 Parent to Child in Heaven...

I remember everything about you

Your voice, your smile, your touch

The way you walked, the way you talked

The way you looked at me, meant so much

I remember all the words you said to me

Some funny, some kind, some wise

All of the things you did for me

I see now with different eyes

I remember every moment we shared

Seems like only yesterday

Or maybe it was eons ago

It's really hard to say

You are gone from me now

But one thing they can't take away

Your memory resides inside my heart

And lights up my darkest days

~ Author Unknown

"Mother and Child" painting by Claire Szalay

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

You think I've gone, that I am dead, and life has lost it's will,

But look around, I am right there, living with you still

I watch your tears, I feel your pain - I see the things you do

I weep as well, each time you cry, my soul, it lives with you

It gives such joy to hear you laugh, and do the things you do

And when you smile o'er by gone days, I smile right with you too

For we're still one, just you and me, one mind, one soul, one being

Walking forward into life, though only you are seen

And in the stillness of the night, when the pain it really starts

Stretch out a little with your mind and draw me to your heart

For I am always right in there, always by your side

For you have been, all my life's days, my joy, my love, my pride.

~ Author Unknown

"Souls Journey" painting by Janice Chrysler

~~~~~

Parent to Child in Heaven:

It seems like only yesterday

I rocked you on my knee,

With dreams about the future and

What you were going to be.

You were so bright and happy

Such a precious little boy,

You gave your love to everyone

And filled our hearts with joy.

Strangers would admire you

And stop to say hello,

"He'll break a lot of hearts," they said,

"In twenty years or so."

But less than twenty years from then,

What they said came true,

As we were forced against our will

To say goodbye to you.

A life so short and unfulfilled,

With so much left to go,

"Why, oh why?" we ask ourselves,

When we all loved you so.

Life shows us many options,

But whichever path we take

The destination's still the same

Whatever choice we make.

So many questions flood our minds,

"What if, and Why and How?"

If we had done things differently,

Would you still be with us now?

I don't know what the lesson was

That you were sent here to learn,

But now your purpose is fulfilled

It's time for you to return.

When I hear the phone ring

I expect to hear you say,

"Alright Mom? What're you doing,

Can I come 'round today?"

But you don't need to ask now,

You're with us every day,

Within our hearts, our minds, our souls,

Your memory will stay.

No fear, no pain or sorrow,

Can touch you anymore

But the love you've left behind,

Will live with us forever more.

~ Jan Andersen

"Mother and Child" painting by Karen Reitsma

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

...But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.

I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before…

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;

I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind…

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;

But together we can do it by taking one day at a time…

And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free,

Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.

~ Ruth Ann Mahaffey

Painting, Author Unknown

~~~~~

Parent to Child in Heaven...

So go and run free with the angels

Dance around the golden clouds

For the Lord has chosen you to be with (H)im

And we should feel nothing but proud

Although (H)e has taken you from us

And our pain a lifetime will last

Your memory will never escape us

But make us glad for the time we did have

Your face will always be hidden

Deep inside our hearts

Each precious moment you gave us

Shall never, ever depart

So go and run free with the angels

As they sing so tenderly

And please be sure to tell them

To take good care of you for me

~ Author Unknown

"Angel Light" painting by Marina Petro

(Capitalizations of Deity pronouns, mine)

Thank you to The Far Side of the Rainbow/Facebook 
for all of the writings and paintings used today!

You may find the individual entries below:



#1)
https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1075743665801076/?type=3&theater


#2)

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1067050356670407/?type=3&theater

#3)

~Angels of the Heart

Picture, Author Unknown

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1047186231990153/?type=3&theater

#4)

~ Bonnie Breuilly-Pike, "Under Orion's Sky...You Live" from "Dancing with the Spirits of Shadowplay"

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1041673662541410/?type=3&theater

"Holding Hands" painting by Judy Mackey

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/940952392613538/?type=3&theater

#5)

~ Rita S. Beer

Painting by Claire Clements

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1022273421148101/?type=3&theater

#6)

~ W. Jason Duncan 

Painting by Hyatt Moore

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1009616129080497/?type=3&theater

#7)

~ Marian Jones

Painting, Author Unknown

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1028883013820475/?type=3&theater

#8)

~ Author Unknown

"Mother and Child" painting by Claire Szalay

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/997224710319639/?type=3&theater

#9)

~ Author Unknown

"Souls Journey" painting by Janice Chrysler

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/967070473335063/?type=3&theater

#10)

Writing: ~ Jan Andersen

"Mother and Child" painting by Karen Reitsma

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/986539304721513/?type=3&theater

#11)

Writing: ~Ruth Ann Mahaffey

Painting, Author Unknown

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1075739515801491/?type=3&theater

#12)
Writing: ~Author Unknown
"Angel Light" painting by Marina Petro

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1008157489226361/?type=3&theater

Thursday's Therapy - Tend and Befriend: How Women Grieve

Thursday's Therapy

Tend and Befriend:

How Women Grieve

I have noticed that many of us this week in the grief groups in which I am involved have been seemingly "stuck" in unresolvable issues with close friends and even family members.

I haven't quite figured out yet why our secondary wounds cause us so much grief since our loss of our child far outweighs any other kind of loss or grief, but somehow they do!

At the moment, the greatest guess I have is that social support is such a basic element in the repertoire of our tools for healing or at least for soothing our deep grief.

So when you notice that the exact opposite is too often coming your way,

• social meanness,
• social harassment,
• social callousness,
• social expectations of the impossible for your moving on from your grief,
• a social piety of sorts for the conventional "wisdom" of how grief should be done (seems right to them, but is so wrong for us Child-Loss grievers),
• social discrimination that we pick up on of people judging us and deciding we are "belaboring" our grief instead of moving on from it as they think should be done, etc.,

you begin to catch a glimpse at how dismal are our options for social support in this deep, deep grief that no-one-but-another-child-loss-griever seems to understand!

But when the social milieu is loving and supportive of us, it has amazing qualities for our potential healing. And even though it is often difficult to be a part of grief groups in that I cry many tears for others' pain, the love and understanding that is there is remarkably comforting. Even my tears for others somehow seems to help my own grief for my child to be released!

Notice the findings of the following excerpts from a summary of a recent UCLA study done on how women deal with stress as opposed to men!

A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more.

Scientists now suspect that hanging out with our friends can actually counteract the kind of stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis. A landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with a cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has turned five decades of stress research---most of it on men---upside down. Until this study was published, scientists generally believed that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible, explains Laura Cousin Klein, Ph.D., now an Assistant Professor of Biobehavioral Health at Penn State University and one of the study's authors. It's an ancient survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased across the planet by saber-toothed tigers.

Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just fight or flight; In fact, says Dr. Klein, it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the fight or flight response and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead. When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and produces a calming effect. This calming response does not occur in men, says Dr. Klein, because testosterone---which men produce in high levels when they're under stress---seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Estrogen, she adds, seems to enhance it….

It may take some time for new studies to reveal all the ways that oxytocin encourages us to care for children and hang out with other women, but the "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive men. Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that friends are helping us live longer.

In one study, for example, researchers found that people who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period. In another study, those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%.

Friends are also helping us live better. The famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight.

And that's not all. When the researchers looked at how well the women functioned after the death of their spouse, they found that even in the face of this biggest stressor of all (Huh? No, not the biggest! Child-Loss has got to be the BIGGEST stressor of all!) those women who had a close friend and confidante were more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality. Those without friends were not always so fortunate. Yet if friends counter the stress that seems to swallow up so much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy and even add years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be with them? That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press, 1998). The following paragraph is, in my opinion, very, very true and something all women should be aware of and NOT put our female friends on the back burners.

…That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience.

~From "UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women: An alternative to fight or flight as summarized by Gale Berkowitz, 2002

~Comment, mine

Taylor, S. E., Klein, L.C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. Behaviorial Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight" Psychol Rev, 107(3):41-429. (Full text of article in PDF format)

Geary DC, Flinn MV. Sex differences in behavioral and hormonal response to social threat: commentary on Taylor et al. Psychol Rev 2002 Oct;109(4):745-50; discussion 751-3

Cousino Klein L, Corwin EJ. Seeing the unexpected: how sex differences in stress responses may provide a new perspective on the manifestation of psychiatric disorders. Curr Psychiatry Rep. 2002 Dec;4(6):441-8.

Paintings ~by Megan Kingery, artist, from her gallery - http://megankingery.homestead.com/gallery2.html

Study Article: UCLA Researchers Identify Key Biobehavioral Pattern Used By Women To Manage Stress (Science Daily (May 22, 2000)

Article cited: UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women: An alternative to fight or flight 2002, Gale Berkowitz