Showing posts with label Death of My Child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death of My Child. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Wednesday's Woe - Shattered Beliefs...










Wednesday's Woe

Shattered Beliefs...






…….My daughter was killed…

But He wouldn't do that to me.

…….She was killed violently.

But He wouldn't do that to her.

…….God sees all.

Did He see her then?

…….God knows all.

Did He know that was coming?

…….God is everywhere.

Was He with her that night?

…….God is love.

Does love ever kill?

…….God is a Shepherd.

Does a Shepherd watch while a lamb is killed?

…….God is a Refuge.

Could she find safety that night?

…….God is Ever-Present Help in times of trouble.

Did He help her that night?

…….God came to give life.

Did He give life that night?

…….God is our Rescue.

Did He rescue her that night?

…….God is merciful.

Did He have mercy on her that night?

…….God is all-powerful.

Did He overpower Satan that night?

…….She is His child!

My kingdom is not of this world.

…….She is with Him!

My view is much bigger than yours.

…….He saved her!

This world is not all there is.

…….God is peace.

Your little lamb, My little lamb, is at peace.

…….God is love.











Picture, thanks to ~Out of the Ashes

Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday's Faith - Lord, my heart's a PTSD mess...





Friday's Faith

Lord, my heart's a PTSD mess...





Lord, my heart's a PTSD mess
Underneath Death's duress. 
Please set my heart and mind on You;
Only You can get me through...

It seems I have knee-jerk reactions
To such minor infractions...
Rest my heart and soul and mind in You;
Cleanse and touch with Love anew.

Teach me when nerves are frayed
To trust in You when I'm afraid.

Thou wilt keep in perfect peace
her whose mind is stayed
on You,
Because she trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3 (NIV, adapted)


~~~


After I meditated on this verse, I read the rest of Isaiah 26, and wept as I read of God's deep love for us as He poignantly speaks to us child-loss grievers in these verses:

Isaiah 26:16-21

LORD, they came to you in their distress;
when You disciplined them, they could barely whisper a prayer.
As a woman with child and about to give birth 
writhes and cries out in her pain,
so were we in Your presence, O LORD.
We were with child,
we writhed in pain,
but we gave birth to wind.
We have not brought salvation to the earth;
we have not given birth to people of the world.

(And He says back:)

But your dead will live;
their bodies will rise.
You who dwell in the dust,
wake up and shout for joy.
Your dew is like the dew of the morning;
the earth will give birth to her dead.
Go, My people, enter your rooms
and shut the doors behind you;
hide yourselves for a little while
until His wrath has passed by.
See, the Lord is coming out of His dwelling
to punish the people of the earth for their sins.
The earth will disclose the blood shed upon her;
she will conceal her slain no longer.










Poem - Lord, my heart's a PTSD mess - Angie Bennett Prince - 09/13/2012


Thursday, March 29, 2012

Tuesday's Trust - The Rains May Come...






Tuesday's Trust

The Rains May Come...



Lying in my bed early this morning, I was contemplating the news I had heard the night before from my son who is here visiting this week; Nathan brought news to me from my hometown in Athens, Georgia that my handicapped brother had gone to the hospital recently with a collapsed lung. No one from home I guess had had the courage to call me with all the grief that is already on my plate.


So I was thinking, is this the way it's going to be Lord, from here on out... just one loss after another of our loved ones to face?! (As you know depressing thoughts creep in so easily in the depths of our already aggrieved hearts.) So the following poem started coming to me from my Lord's heart, so I jumped up, turned on the light and began writing...




The Rains May Come...



The rains may come,

I'm right here My child.

The rains may come,

But on your child, I've smiled.


Sorrows come, they fill the sky,

But in your heart, I bring my sun.

Troubles come, darken your sky,

But piercing your Dark, My Son.


Though all else fails, lean on Me.

My love withstands your tempestuous sea.

Though all else fails, lean on Me,

Though Darkness falls, Me ~ you'll see.









Picture, sent to me from a blog reader today, grieving mother, A.R.S. ~ Thank you!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Friday's Faith - My Visit





Friday's Faith


My Visit





Tommy and I were blessed to have our brand new (almost 7-months old now!) grandbaby "Ellie" ("Merry Ellie," named after Merry Katherine) stay with us for about five hours yesterday afternoon while Rollin and Stephanie went to the doctor. They met the radiologist who will do Rollin's radiation therapy (he will have 2 rounds of daily 4-week radiation treatments coming up for him as a preventative measure to ward off potential cancer cells) since he had his testicular cancer removed almost 2 months ago). Please pray!


Our time with Ellie was very sweet, as usual. And ~as usual~ I got triggered back to my own baby girl, Merry Katherine. . .


Ellie enjoys trying out new noises, so I decided to sing to her. Tommy and I were sitting outside on our patio with her, all three of us swinging on our glider. The wind was blowing steadily through the trees, so automatically, out of my mouth flew the song,


"Hear the wind blow dear;

Hear the wind blow.

Angels in heaven hear the wind blow."


And immediately the tears began to flow down my cheeks (even as they flow now) as I pictured these angels being in Heaven next to Merry Katherine . . .


But almost as soon as the tears came, I "felt" Merry Katherine say,


"I'm right here Mommy!"


quickly reminding me she hovers near, so much closer than I tend to think. I smiled and was comforted, but the tears still flowed.



All this time, Ellie is cooing along with me, also bringing me joy amidst my sorrow. Tommy ran and got me some tissues so I could wipe my eyes and nose. Then I read to Ellie from one of Merry Katherine's tiny little childhood books while Ellie "turned" the pages for me. (Tears are still rolling down my cheek as I write.)



It has been a tough week with clients in crisis. How sweet that on my day off, God let me enjoy my visit with my two favorite girls in all the world . . . Merry, and Merry Ellie ~ God is good. Grief is still so hard, but my baby girl is okay, and she is nearby, smiling even as I cry. Yes, God is good.














Pictures, mine

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Monday's Mourning Ministry - From My Limited View... (I talk to my baby girl) / If You Could See Me Now ~The Integrity Worship Singers







Monday's Mourning Ministry


From My Limited View...

(I talk to my baby girl)


~


If You Could See Me Now


~The Integrity Worship Singers






From My Limited View…

I talk to my baby girl



Baby girl,

You left so young...

It felt like your life was interrupted

You left so young

It felt like your life was incomplete...


And yet you call...


"Sweet Mommy, don't you know

With Jesus, all

In my life, He does bestow!


"My life's fulfilled!

His love makes my heart glow!


"I am complete

His time is not in years...


"If this truth you could know

Your eyes would not flow with tears:


"Your baby girl has arrived,

And now my life does thrive!


"In His arms, there is no bluer sky.


"If you could know,

You would not question why;

You too would glow,

You would not need to cry!


"Life there below

Was life incomplete ~ till I

Could walk with Jesus! Now I know

True life begins when you die


"His River of Life does flow

Through souls like yours and mine!

He loves us so,

Our souls do truly shine!


"Mommy, when you start to doubt,

And you think that I was cheated,

And you start to pout

Thinking my life was not completed,


"Remember Who HE IS,

He IS the Giver of Life

This IS the life of bliss:

No more struggles with sin and strife!


"Just look at me, and see me now,

Sheltered in His tender love;

If you could see, your soul would take a bow,

Thankful your baby girl could be with Him above,

I have, in no way, been cheated

I am blessed, for Here my life IS completed!


"My life was not interrupted

Satan's game plan for me was disrupted!

All answers to your prayer

Are found IN God so fair!


"Climb into my world,

Please see your baby girl!

Use your eyes of faith,

Your baby girl was Saved!

Enjoy this life with me

For I'm happy as can be!"


But baby, I'm so sad;

I miss you, oh-so bad…

I'm glad to hear you're happy,

And yet, since you're not here, I feel so sad and lonely…



"Mommy, you sorrow there,

but you won't when you're Here with me!

Meanwhile, I will share

My heart so you can see!


"And the work God gives you to do,

You can share with me,

For Mommy, I pull for you

From this veiled cloud you cannot see!

So, you see, we are still a team

In God's great mystery~

In God, death is not what it seems;

Life doesn't end in misery:


"Now we can commune

In ways no one can see:

Our hearts will be in tune

More than on earth, they ever could be!


"Watch and listen Mommy!

God will give you eyes and ears to 'see'!"



Thank you baby for trying to help me see;

I thank God too for letting you commune with me!

And I'm looking forward to having new eyes to see,

So I can share more with God and you, and taste more of Eternity!





*****





"Kairos. Real time. God’s time.


"That time which breaks through chronos with a shock of joy, that time we do not recognize while we are experiencing it, but only afterwards, because kairos has nothing to do with chronological time. In kairos we are completely unselfconscious, and yet paradoxically far more real than we can ever be when we’re constantly checking our watches for chronological time.


"The saint in contemplation, lost to self in the mind of God is in kairos. The artist at work is in kairos. The child at play, totally thrown outside herself in the game, be it building a sand castle or making a daisy chain, is in kairos. In kairos we become what we are called to be as human beings, co-creators with God, touching on the wonder of creation.


"This calling should not be limited to artists, or saints, but it is a fearful calling. It is both Manna and taboo. It can destroy as well as bring into being.


"In Our Town, after Emily has died in childbirth, Thornton Wilder has her ask the Stage Manager if she can return home to relive just one day. Reluctantly he allows her to do so. And she is torn by the beauty of the ordinary, and by our lack of awareness of it. She cries out to her mother, “Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really saw me… it goes so fast we don’t have time to look at one another.”


And she goes back to the graveyard and the quiet company of the others lying there, and she asks the Stage Manager “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?” And he sighs and says, “No. The saints and poets, maybe. They do some.”



~From Walking on Water, by Madeleine L’Engle





*****



If technical difficulties, please go to http://youtu.be/ivM1ytYswNA




If You Could See Me Now


~The Integrity Worship Singers




Our prayers have all been answered,
I've finally arrived,
The healing that had been delayed
Has now been realized.
No one's in a hurry
There's no schedule to keep,
We're all enjoying Jesus,
Just sitting at His feet.



If you could see me now,
I'm walking streets of gold
If you could see me now,
I'm standing tall and whole.
If you could see me now
You'd know I'd seen His face.
If you could see me now
You'd know the pain's erased…

You wouldn't want me to ever leave this place.


If you could see me now


My light and temporary trials
Have worked out for my good
To know it brought Him glory
When I misunderstood
Though we've had our sorrows,
They can never compare
What Jesus has in store for us
No language can share.


If you could see me now,
I'm walking streets of gold
If you could see me now,
I'm standing tall and whole
If you could see me now,
You'd know I'd seen His face
If you could see me now,
You'd know the pain's erased…


If you could see me now
I'm walking streets of gold
If you could see me now
I'm standing tall and whole











Picture of Jesus, "Prince of Peace" by Akiane Kramarik at age 8 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/9364639@N08/2696981181/

Music Video - http://youtu.be/ivM1ytYswNA

L'Engle quote, thanks to http://log24.com/log/saved/kairos.html

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Monday's Mourning Ministry - A Letter to and from My Baby Girl Her Fifth Year in Heaven... / God Be With You ~Selah





Monday's Mourning Ministry



A Letter to and from My Baby Girl

Her Fifth Year in Heaven...


~


God Be With You


~Selah







A Letter to and from My Baby Girl

Her Fifth Year in Heaven...





Good morning, Baby Girl,

I wanted to write and say

5 yrs now since you've been away,

Mommy's been thrown into a whirl

Trying to survive each day

With a heart dead to this world...


And yet I live in peace

Knowing where you are...

God meets me in my grief

And despite you've gone afar,

I sense you here beside me

Pure in spirit and sweet ~

It's God's gift to me,

A dear and special treat.


His time-zone is instant

In spirit-world, tis true,

So though you're very distant,

You reach me when I'm blue:

When I feel my heart crushing

Till I can bear no more,

That's when He sends you rushing

To remind me what's in store...


"Mommy, I'm so happy

Your prayers for me came true~

So now I'm truly laughing

Amazed at what God can do!

Remember all you told me:

When you're sad, keep looking up!


"If on earth your cup is empty,

In Heaven, He'll fill your cup!

Take your eyes off your burden

Give it, instead, to Him;

When death pulls the curtain

Your life starts over with Him!

And with any tears you shed there,

He'll water your gardens Here;

And for any burdens you bear there,

He'll draw you even closer Here!"




Thank You Lord for my child's sweet communion,

Thank You her name is graven on Your hands,

Thank You her name is seared onto Your heart,

All the love for her my own heart commands

Could never for her, true Life impart.

Thank You for suffering Your own Child's death,

That He willingly gave up His own life's breath

That we'll have Life with You, and Love's sweet reunion!











*****







God Be With You


~Selah




God be with you till we meet again;

By His counsels guide, uphold you,

With His sheep securely fold you;

God be with you till we meet again.


verse 2

God be with you till we meet again;

'Neath His wings securely hide you

Daily manna still provide you

God be with you till we meet again.


(Refrain)

Till we meet, till we meet,

Till we meet at Jesus’ feet;

Till we meet, till we meet,

God be with you till we meet again.


verse 3

God be with you till we meet again;

When life’s perils thick confound you;

Put His arms unfailing 'round you;

God be with you till we meet again.


(Refrain)

Till we meet, till we meet,

Till we meet at Jesus’ feet;

Till we meet, till we meet,

God be with you...

God be with you..

Oh,God be with you

Till we meet again.










Poem - A Letter to and from My Baby Girl Her Fifth Year in Heaven - Angie Bennett Prince - 7/31/11
Video/Grief Song - http://youtu.be/IVcj3nW6OE8