Saturday's Sayings - If God Chose the Broken...

God chose what the world considered Broken...

~1 Corinthians 1:27

Saturday's Sayings

If God Chose the Broken...

(Letter to My Friends, Family, Church, and Community)

If people do not begrudge a sweet little old lady for knitting everyday as she works her craft for her loved ones with her yarn, so too I ask myself,

Why do people begrudge child-loss grievers for daily re-knitting their damaged hearts, souls, and spirits back together after they had been unraveled beyond recognition from the first day their child was ripped from their sides? 

Child-Loss Grief and Trauma 

is a Daily Process, 

expected to last a Life-time, 

until that beautiful Day when we are

rejoined with our little ones.

Please treat us with kindness, 

and 

at the very least,

Learn to respect 

what you have No Way Of Knowing:

how Unbearable

the Child-Loss Grief and Trauma process is 

upon our severely traumatized lives

every 

day.

Every.

Day. 

I repeat,

You would have No. Way. Of. Knowing. 

or 

even

Beginning. To. Know. 

what we deal with, 

unless you yourself also

Lost Your Child, 

and 

We would Never, 

Ever, 

wish 

that 

upon 

You 

or 

Anyone. 

So please, 

Just respect our process, 

And know, 

Always keep in mind, 

There is a lot about our Child-Loss Grief and Trauma 

you. will. never. know. 

Be thankful for that,

And,

please

Please,

Love us

Where. We. Are.

Not

Where. You. Want. Us. To. Be.

God doesn't blame the broken

for their brokenness;

God loves the broken...

Can you?

~Angie Prince, Mother Grieving Loss of Child,
Psychotherapist, and Grief, Loss, & Trauma Coach

~~~



Please remember what God's Word says,

1 Corinthians 1:27

New International Version (NIV)

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; 

God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."

"Broken" graphic, thanks to 

Jesus Loves Me!

Julie K. (God's Girl Jul) ~Pinterest

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/29977153743344935/

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Help Me (Live) ~Russ Taff

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Help Me (Live)

~Russ Taff

When no one can begin

to comprehend

all you've been through,

God knows.

When no one understands 

your feelings or situation

or heartaches,

God understands.

When no one

can possibly fathom

your hurting heart,

God does.

Help Me (Live)

~Russ Taff, 

with Reggie Smith, Gayle Mayes, and Angela Primm

Lord, help me walk another mile,

just one more mile

I'm tired of walking by myself

Lord, help me smile another smile, 

just one more smile

I know I can't make it on my own

I never thought I needed help before

I thought that I could get by, by myself

But now I know I just can't take it any more

So with a humble heart, on bended knees

I'm begging You, please, help me

Come down from Your golden throne to me,

come down to me

I need to feel the touch of Your tender hand

Remove the chains of darkness, let me see,

Lord let me see

Just where I fit into Your master plan 

I never thought I needed help before

I thought that I could get by, by myself

But now I know I just can't take it anymore

With a humble heart, on bended knee

I'm begging You, please, help me

With a humble heart, on bended knees

I'm begging You please, 

Help me.

~~~~~

"I am the Lord your God

who takes hold of 

your right hand

and says to you,

Do not fear

I will help you."

~Isaiah 41:13

Pictures, thanks to ~Dee Flores of Christian Pictures in Pinterest

Grief Song: http://youtu.be/tOr_oq38D_Q

Friday's Faith - What Is Exposed In Grief's "Perfect Storm"?

Friday's Faith

What Is Exposed In Grief's "Perfect Storm"?

Love is revealed by actions! People can SAY they love you, but if you look at their actions, you see the harsh contrast and say to yourself, "Yes I hear the words, but how was I treated?" 

Looking back, we've had discussions of this bizarre phenomenon because of interactions with different family members since the death of our beloved child. Yes, certain family members can say they love us off and on all day long; they can "say" it verbally, but their actions reveal a cruelty beyond belief! Because our love for them is so deep, it stabs us very deeply. While we are at our most vulnerable, they pierce the knife straight through our hearts with their unthinkable cruelty shown in their vilest of actions. 

     It's like a perfect storm is created: We are trying to survive and are barely functioning, but they treat us with a deprecating attitude of, "There's nothing wrong with you!" (when there's going to be something wrong with us for the rest of our lives…!)

So at our weakest, they seem to become threatened by such weakness and literally want to kill us. Like a predator smelling blood by sensing the weakness exposed from the depth of our love for our child that has been cut off at the knees, these predators seem to come roaring out of the pit of hell into the sacred halls of our love for our lost child, and spew the fiery venom of their hate and disgust that burns even deeper holes into our already death-accosted hearts.

It is as if they look at everything we do or cannot do through their own self-serving lens and deprecate us with their most degrading aspersions against our character.

It's as if the deep love for our deceased child in all its purity and depth of heart and soul serves as a beautiful white backdrop that easily exposes the contrasting tarry black hatred that spirals up out of the pit of their dark souls. 

We've never seen anything like it. Some family members come through in the most loving ways we could EVER have imagined while other family members seem compelled to show the BLACKNESS of their hearts that we NEVER even realized had been there, at least to the depths that we now see.

One of the supposed advantages of doing counseling from a Christian perspective is that we know what "normal" is. The beauty of Christianity is that you know what "Love" is. The Bible gives you the exact definition of what "love" is. 

This is what love is. 

This is what love looks like. We are actually told what love looks like. 

But when we look at certain members of our families, in this perfect storm of our vulnerability and their most daring blatant show of hostility and sold-out narcissism, we can exclaim to ourselves, 

"And This is what LOVE is NOT!!!

~~~~~

1 Corinthians 13

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Greatest Gift

13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

~~~

13 

And so faith, hope, love abide 

[faith—conviction and belief respecting man's relation to God and divine things;

hope—joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation;

love—true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us]

these three;

but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13, Amplified Version

Graphics, thanks to ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, ~Hers to Treasure, and ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

Friday's Faith - My Heart's Home ~Angie Bennett Prince

Friday's Faith

My Heart's Home

~Angie Bennett Prince

There are times when we need to step back from life and allow ourselves the time to grieve. There's nothing wrong or crazy or unnatural about that. After losing a child, society wants to push us back into the regular routine of life only days after going through the trauma of child loss. We're told we should be brave, not cry, get busy, do "normal things" -- but rarely does anyone say "Take all the time you need to cry. Take time to grasp hold of what has happened. Take time to externalize some of the pain you're holding in." We can only fake it so long until we finally have to stop and deal with the grief. Child loss is a life-changing, traumatic happening that can't just be swept under the rug. The pain touches every area of our lives -- even the way we breathe.

~Silent Grief - Child Loss Support

~~~~~

In my distress of a very stressful week this week, God gave me a poem of comfort that was the balm that carried me through this week. May it minister to your heart, dear grieving mother and grieving father.

My Heart's Home

He will shield you with His wings,

O troubled mother without child,

For in Heav'n today she sings,

No more by Vile One is beguiled!

Under My wings, you will find shelter

Despite the evil thrown your way

in the death that Satan dealt her,

For I AM the Truth, the Life, the Way.

Within the shadow of the Almighty

By the might of My own hand,

Your own battles I am fighting;

Rest My child, and take My hand.

I AM your Refuge, and your Safety,

Your Protector, and your Shield.

Neither slow nor none too hasty

My Word of Truth, My Sword I wield.

I AM your Sanctuary and your Rescue,

Fully acquainted with your grief;

Though the Vile One will test you,

I will always provide Relief.

Rest your head upon My feathers,

Enjoy the comfort under My wing.

My heart, to yours, ever tethers;

I will lift your heart to sing.

Lie down in My green pastures;

Allow Me to restore your soul;

I'll empower for what I ask you,

So My tasks won't take a toll.

Lean on Me, not understanding;

Trust My Way, and not your own,

For I AM never too demanding;

I AM your Rest, and your heart's Home.

Be merciful to me, God, be merciful to me, for my soul takes refuge in you. Yes, in the shadow of your wings, I will take refuge, until disaster has passed.

~Psalm 57:1, World English Bible

Pictures, thanks to Google Images
Poem - My Heart's Home - Angie Bennett Prince - March 12, 2013

Friday's Faith - If God Had Told Me...

Friday's Faith

If God Had Told Me...

If before you were born, I could have gone to Heaven and (could have seen) all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you...

If God had told me "This soul will one day need extra care," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "One day this soul may make your heart bleed," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "This soul would make me question the depth of my faith," I would still have chosen you....

If He had told me "This soul would make tears flow from my eyes that would overflow a river," I would still have chosen you....

If He had told me "Our time spent together here on earth could be short," I still would have chosen you....

If He had told me "This soul may one day make me endure overbearing suffering," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "All that you know to be normal would drastically change," I still would have chosen you...

Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who (chose) me for you...

Thank you God for allowing me to be your mommy...

~Author Unknown

~~~

~Journey of the Survivor (From Grief to Survival)

Top graphic with Scripture, I Corinthians 13:7-8: thanks to Grieving Mother, ~Pat Dattoli Wentworth

Friday's Faith - The Work of Love in Remembering One Dead: "The Most Unselfish Love" ~Søren Kierkegaard, Part Two

"If we are to love the men we see, then we are also to love those whom we have seen but see no more because death took them away.... 

"(O)ne must remember the dead; 

weep softly, but grieve long."

Friday's Faith

The Work of Love in Remembering One Dead

"The Most Unselfish Love"

~Søren Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855)

Part Two

"Beloved, let us love one another.

1 John 4:7a (NASB)

Excerpt from 

Works of Love

~Søren Kierkegaard

(translated by Howard and Edna Hong)

{Remember, Kierkegaard himself recommends you read his work aloud for best understanding of it!)

The work of love in remembering one who is dead is a work of the MOST UNSELFISH love.

If one wants to make sure that love is completely unselfish, he eliminates every possibility of repayment. But precisely this is eliminated in the relationship to one who is dead. If love nevertheless remains, it is in truth unselfish.

Repayment in connection with love can be quite varied. For that matter one can have outright profit and reward, and this is indeed the persistently common way, the "pagan" way, "to love those who can make repayment." According to this view the repayment is heterogeneous, something different from the love itself. But there is also a repayment for love which is homogeneous with love:  requited love. And there is still so much good in the majority of men that as a rule they will regard this repayment, repayment in the form of gratitude, of thankfulness, of devotion, in short, of requited love, as the most significant, although in another sense they will perhaps not admit that it is repayment and therefore consider that one cannot call love selfish insofar as it seeks this repayment.

---But in no sense do the dead make repayment.

In this respect there is a similarity between lovingly remembering one who is dead and parents' love for children. The parents love their children almost before they exist and long before they become conscious, therefore as non-beings. But one dead is also a non-being. And the two greatest benefactions are these:  to give life to a human being and to remember one dead; yet the first act of love has repayment. If there is no hope at all for parents, no prospect at all of ever having joy in their children and reward for their love---yes, there are still many fathers and mothers who would nevertheless do everything for children:  but there are also many mothers and fathers whose love would grow cold. It is not our intention hereby directly to declare such a father or mother to be unloving; no, but their love is nevertheless so weak or self-love so strong that they need this joyous hope, this encouraging prospect. And with this hope, this prospect, everything would be right again. The parents would say to each other:  "Our little child certainly has a long time ahead of him; there are many years; but in all this time we still have joy in him, and above all, we have the hope that at sometime he will reward our love, will in repayment make our old age happy, if he does nothing else."

The dead, however, make no repayment. One who remembers lovingly can perhaps also say:  "A long life lies before me, dedicated to remembering, but the prospect first and last is the same; in a certain sense there is no threat at all in the prospect, for there simply is no prospect." O, in a certain sense, it is so hopeless; it is such a thankless job, as the farmer says, such a disheartening occupation to remember one who is dead! For one who is dead does not grow and thrive toward the future as does the child: one who is dead merely crumbles away more and more into certain ruin. One who is dead does not give joy to the rememberer as the child gives joy to its mother, does not give him joy as the child gives her joy when to her question about whom he loves most, he answers, "Mother"; one who is dead loves no one most, for he seems to love no one at all. 

O, it is so dejecting that he remains quiet that is way down there in the grave while the longing after him grows, so dejecting that there is no change conceivable except the change of dissolution, more and more! 

True, he is not difficult as the child can be at times; he does not cause sleepless nights, at least not by being difficult---for, remarkably enough, the good child does not cause sleepless nights, and yet the one who is dead causes the more sleepless nights the better he was. 

O, but as far as the most difficult child is concerned there are still the hope and prospect of repayment of love:  but one dead makes no payment at all. Whether you are sleepless and expectant on his account or you completely forget him seems to be completely a matter of indifference to him. 

If, therefore, you wish to test for yourself whether you love disinterestedly, note sometimes how you relate yourself to one who is dead. Much love, doubtless most, would upon closer examination certainly show itself to be self-love. But the situation is this, in the love-relationship among the living there is still the hope, the prospect, of love as repayment, at least the repayment of reciprocated love, and generally repayment is made. But this hope, this prospect, together with the fact that repayment is made, makes a man unable to see with clarity what is love and what is self-love, because one cannot see with clarity whether repayment is expected and in what sense. In relationship to one who is dead. however, the observation is easy. 

O, if one were accustomed truly to love unselfishly, one would certainly remember the dead differently from the way one usually does after the first period, frequently rather brief, in which one loves the dead inordinately enough with cries and clamour.

The work of love in remembering one who is dead is a work of the freest (free-est) love.

To be continued...

Picture, thanks to Grieving Mothers
NASB = New American Standard Bible

Tuesday's Trust - A Cry to Heaven and God's Response

Tuesday's Trust

A Cry to Heaven, and God's Response

For us Child-Loss Grievers,

Post-Traumatic Stress

Adds to our duress ~

Hearts and Minds

And Souls so stressed,

It's hard for us to find

Our body's needed rest ~

How do we decompress?

Lord, our bodies crave Your peace

Amidst the Soul's Dark Night;

Please give us sweet release ~

You recognize our plight:

To battle Satan, Sin and Death

Who together seemed to win…

To claim our own child's breath;

We're thrown in Vile One's den.

We need Your Life-giving touch 

To deliver us again.

We love our child too much

To never see her again.

Then God lovingly replies,

My child, for this temporary while,

Satan does hold the power of death ~

But, remember, I do hold your child,

And I've restored her breath.

Learn to rest in me

For I do see your plight ~

My Son destroyed Death's Night

My Own Son suffered Death

That your child might have her breath.

Take time to be with Me

To restore your spirit with eyes to see:

Your child resides with Me,

From Satan, Sin, and Death set free;

Her spirit thrives in Heaven, alive eternally,

Excitedly awaiting your arrival to live with her and Me,

While all the saints in Heaven help us prepare a room for thee.

You will see Satan, Sin, And Death destroyed and live in peace eternally.

Take My hand, I'll give you eyes to see;

Meanwhile, I am here to comfort you each day;

When your faith grows weak, just look to Me and pray.

Merry Katherine is alive; she is Here with Me!

When sorrow does arise, look up and you will "see."

Your baby does thrive and does often visit thee;

We're just beyond the Veil, not so very far ~

We watch your every move and come to soothe your broken heart. 

Your loving heart does suffer now

Till Joy blossoms from all your tears rained down…

Scripture:

"What is man that You are mindful of him,
the Son of Man that You care for Him?
You made Him a little lower than the angels;
You crowned Him with glory and honor
and put everything under His feet."


In putting everything under Him,
God left nothing that is not subject to Him.
Yet at present we do not see everything subject to Him.
But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels,
now crowned with glory and honor because He suffered death,
so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone.


In bringing many sons to glory
it was fitting that God,
for whom and through whom everything exists,
should make the Author of their Salvation
perfect through suffering.


Both the One who makes men holy
and those who are made holy
are of the same family.
So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers.


He says,
"I will declare Your Name to My brothers;
in the presence of the congregation
I will sing Your praises."


And again,
"I will put My trust in Him."


And again He says,
"Here am I, and the children God has given Me."


Since the children have flesh and blood,
He too shared in their humanity
so that by His death He might destroy him who holds the power of death---
that is, the devil---
and free those who all their lives
were held in slavery by their fear of death.


For surely it is not angels He helps,
but Abraham's descendants.
For this reason He had to be made like His
brothers in every way, in order that He
might become a merciful and faithful
High Priest in service to God,
and that He might make atonement for the sins of the people.
Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted,
He is able to help those who are being tempted.


Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the 
Heavenly calling,
fix your thoughts on Jesus,
the Apostle and High Priest whom we confess.


...Therefore, since we have a Great High Priest
who has gone through the Heavens,
Jesus the Son of God,
let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.
For we do not have a High Priest who is unable
to sympathize with our weaknesses,
but we have One who was tempted in
every way, just as we are
---yet was without sin.


Let us then approach the Throne of Grace
with confidence, so that we may receive mercy
and find grace to help us in our time of need.


~Hebrews 2:7b-3:1, 4:14-16

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great crowd of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Pioneer and Perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow  weary and lose heart.

~Hebrews 11:39 - 12:3

Pictures, thanks to Grieving Mothers, Barbara Karrer
Poem - A Cry to Heaven, and God's Response - Angie Bennett Prince - July 9, 2012
Scriptures - from the New International Version of God's Holy Word 

Monday's Mourning Ministry - The God On the Mountain ~Lynda Randle

For the God on the Mountain...

Monday's Mourning Ministry 

The God On the Mountain

~Lynda Randle

Life is easy

when you're up on the mountain

and you've got peace of mind

like you've never known.

But things change

when you're down in the valley ~

Don't lose faith,

for you're never alone.

For the God on the mountain

is still God in the valley.

When things go wrong,

He'll make them right.

And the God of the good times

is still God in the bad times;

The God of the day

Is still God in the night.

You talk of faith

way up on the mountain

But talk comes so easy

when life's at its best.

Now it's down in the valley

of trials and temptations ~

That's where your faith

is really put to the test.

For the God on the mountain

is still God in the valley.

When things go wrong,

He'll make them right.

And the God of the good times

is still God in the bad times;

The God of the day

is still God in the night.

The God of the day 

is still God in the night.

...Is still God in the Valley.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. 
~Hebrews 13:8 NIV

http://youtu.be/hKE769CIPOM

Friday's Faith - Leaning on God…

Friday's Faith 

Leaning on God…

Picture, thanks to grieving mother, Jill C., ~Peace Be With You

Friday's Faith - What Did You Bring When You Came to "Minister" to Me?

Friday's Faith

What Did You Bring

When You Came

to "Minister" to Me?

When you came to visit me, what did you bring

To this mother with her child whose life is now at stake?

Tell me, what did you risk with your vain offering

To shoot the breeze, whine, laugh awhile - was this all a mistake?

Before you came, were you prayed up,

laid up,

cried out,

before God plied out?

Or winded from your errands,

self-imposed guilt trips,

keeping up your score card?

What did you really give of yourself that made this visit hard?

What did the woman bring to Jesus when she cried and brought perfume?

Do you think the fragrance of her love for Him might have filled that room?

Did you bring His love? Did you bring His concern?

Or were we just on your list of things to do, and your time to burn?

Did you bring genuine joy? Did you bring your tears?

Did you bring your heartfelt angst for our loss of all these years?

Why did my spirit then not feel nourished,

Ministered to, nurtured, nor tended inside

With reminders that my son's soul would always flourish

And that his Lord would always be by his side?

For when you never lovingly mentioned my Lord's name,

I had to wonder then, why was it that you came?

For while my precious boy's life was under the surgeon's knife,

Why did my heart weep inside just to have peace and quiet

For time before my God to mourn that yet another child might perish

While you, your jokes and quips that only you seemed to relish,

Harped on and on, and just wasted that sacred, precious time?

Did you really think it would be helpful simply to distract?

Was I supposed to be wowed by your distasteful act...

Did you bring a "role" that you simply played

Because, to be quite honest, my spirit felt splayed

As you bragged that in a hospital you could simply waltz right in,

The power of your "role" you bragged about, all to my chagrin.

To be quite frank, I didn't want you there;

I wanted a gentle Lamb, like my Savior, there

Who would cry with me over Satan's wiles

To hurt my child with his feckless guiles

To take a child, a new father, in his prime

To the edge of the brink, to look down into death's slime?

Did you think to mourn with me with reminders that God is here

Though we don't understand the whys as we shed each and ev'ry tear?

So, please, before you bring your next offering,

Please hear this mother's plaintive cry,

Ask Him first, what He would have you bring

To show the Suffering Servant's heart when next you do stop by.

For there is no ministry without suffering

When you properly reflect the Man of Sorrow, acquainted with grief,

Then His suffering love will be reflected in the poured-out offering,

Bringing the griever, Love Himself's heart of sweet relief.

You will find you'll no longer run from our suffering,

For the Savior ever draws near with His sweetest comforting.

*****

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not driven to despair;

persecuted, but not forsaken;

struck down, but not destroyed;

always carrying in the body the death of Jesus,

so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake,

so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God,

we do not lose heart.

But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways.

We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word,

but by the open statement of the truth we would

commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God...

For what we proclaim is not ourselves,

but Jesus Christ as Lord,

with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who said,

"Let light shine out of darkness,"

has shone in our hearts

to give the light of the knowledge of

the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay,

to show that the surpassing power belongs to God

and not to us.

2 Corinthians 4:8-12,1-2,5-7 (ESV)

Picture - Arcimboldo, Giuseppe (1527-1593) - 1590c.The Market Gardener

(ESV) *English Standard Version of The Holy Bible