Wednesday's Woe - The Little Engine that Couldn't... ~Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

The Little Engine that Couldn't...

~Tommy Prince

You've heard of the little engine that could; now we've become the little engine that couldn't. Instead of being like the little engine that could, as bereaved parents, we rather feel like a complete train wreck! In the child's storybook, the message to children is, the little engine thought he couldn't, but when he learned to say, "I think I can; I think I can," he gained the courage to push through and overcome his weakness.

But as one father on a forensics show said tonight, 

"My daughter was killed instantly, but ever since, I have been dying a slow death." 

In the bereaved and traumatized state that we find ourselves in, the brain fools us: we think we can go to a party, or we think we can go to a celebration of some kind, as if we are saying "I think I can, I think I can…" But many times we haven't been able to pull it off. And so, we just have to face our "new reality" that our internal train wreck is still in shambles… So now we are back to  saying, "I thought I could, I thought I could…!"

Images, thanks to Amazon.com and Google Images

Wednesday's Woe - Which Is More Cruel? ~Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

Which Is More Cruel?

~Tommy Prince

It's come a time when we need to change out her bedroom…

Which is more cruel?

To leave her belongings out to ever remind you she's not here and each of those items could trigger you, or

To go through her things one by one, touching every item with its reminders of her: how she used them, read them, or wore them, etc. while she was here…with you…when life was normal?

Even if Plan B is the better option, good luck getting it done, and staying in one piece to do it.

Risk ~ if you leave belongings in place and you pass by them, you may or may not get triggered. But boxing her things up, having to touch all of her things guarantees you will get triggered…

Wiping tears and blowing your nose every few minutes slows you down, but you bear with that to get through.

The thing that got me was the high school graduation class tee-shirt with everybody's names on the back, and there was her name along with everybody else's …who are… all... still here…