Showing posts with label Family Get-Togethers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Get-Togethers. Show all posts

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Monday's Mourning Ministry - The Permanence of Your Absence - Here Comes Goodbye ~Rascal Flatts








Monday's Mourning Ministry


The Permanence of Your Absence


Here Comes Goodbye ~Rascal Flatts






"Which had just brought on a fresh bucket of sobs, both girls going to hell then, beginning to wail and hug each other and shake, mouths wide and oval and slightly skewered in the pantomime of grief Sean had seen time and time again, the moment when...the levee broke and


the permanence of the victim's absence truly hit home.


Times like that, there was nothing you could do but watch or leave."


~Dennis LeHane, Mystic River





*****





The Permanence of Your Absence




The family's together watching a comedy routine,

In the warmth of the company, we laugh till we cry

At comedians you laughed at in the very same scene,

But you're not here with us ~ O why baby why?



Each moment together, now there's a hole:

A presence is missing, an invaluable soul.



We've cancelled Christmas gatherings, birthdays too;

Our family's not a "family" without the presence of you.

After 4 1/2 years, it's beginning to sink in,

The permanence of your absence ~ you're "gone with the wind."



You wanted to be a comedian when you grew up:

You loved to crack us up ~ we laughed till we cried

At some of your antics since you were a wee pup...

You still leave us crying, but we're dying inside:

Our hearts broke apart on the day that you died.



Each moment together, there's a gaping hole

Until we reach Heaven, we'll no longer be whole;

Each moment together, now there's a hole,

Your presence is missing, sweet invaluable soul.



But sweet baby girl, God says you're nearby

In His cloud of witnesses who watch from the sky.

Please hover over, we need you nearby,

And bear with us baby as you live ~ yet we cry...

And your presence is with us through each mournful sigh...

May God send His comfort...that you live while we die...



Each moment together, now there's a hole:

Your presence is missing, sweet invaluable soul...





*****





Rascal Flatts was one of Merry Katherine's favorite country music groups, which makes the following music even more poignant than it already would be for me. Be sure to watch this video to the very end for a sweet surprise.







Here Comes Goodbye


Rascal Flatts



Written By: Chris Sligh, Clint Lagerberg



I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And it’s not like her to drive that slow, nothings on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell



Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I’m gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
She was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye



I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I’d see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play here comes the bride


But here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night,
The first of every tear I’m gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
She was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye



Why's it have to go from to good to gone?
Before the lights turn on, yeah and you’re left alone
All alone, but here comes goodbye



Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh


Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I’m gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
She was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye












Picture thanks to FotoSearch.com

Poem - The Permanence of Your Absence" - Angie Bennett Prince - 3/5/2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uq3nI11w4g&feature=related


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Wednesday's Woe - The.Four.Dreaded.Words. ~Tommy Prince




Wednesday's Woe


The.Four.Dreaded.Words.


~Tommy Prince





Coming out of the holiday season, The.Four.Dreaded.Words I hate to hear amidst our immediate family:


"Let's all get together."


It seems I can function okay until I hear these words, and it stops me in my tracks. All the wheels lock up. Everything stops. And I cannot function.




For example: We go into a restaurant.


"How many are in your party?"


The number 5 comes to mind... Then once again, I'm stopped in my tracks. Someone's missing. This isn't right. I must say, "4."




Take last week, last Thursday. We are walking into Angie's mother's funeral. I am walking down the aisle, seeing the crowd of people, hearing the music, smelling the flowers, seeing the casket... and being directed to sit on the front row. I almost keep going...back down the aisle...and out the door.


But I don't. I stop and sit down.


About the time I regain my composure, I look up at the stage. Angie is up on the stage to speak at her mother's funeral, but only two of our three children are standing with her... It is almost more than I can take. Here come the tears...





Now, we're back home and are anticipating two family birthdays coming up - Nathan's, then mine. It is something I should look forward to, but I don't. I dread it. It is now impossible for "all" of us to Get.Together.Ever.Again.







picture: http://www.northrup.org/photos/quebec/pink-flower-missing-petal.htm

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Wednesday's Woe- Is my life...a series of Getting-Throughs . . . ? ~Tommy and Angie Prince








Wednesday's Woe


Is my life...a series of Getting-Throughs . . . ?


~Tommy and Angie Prince






I'm not "living" my life, I'm just "getting through . . ."



Getting through holidays.



Getting through birthdays.



Getting through death days.



Getting through holidays...





I told my older son last night (Christmas night), when he was wondering why he hadn't yet heard from us on Christmas Day...


"It's like we're on an airplane, gripping tightly to our seat, just hoping we can 'get through' the flight. We are just trying to 'get through' the day."


He said,


"I completely understand. You don't need to explain that to me. Just remember, I'm a passenger too (on that same flight), sitting just down the row from you."




Graciously, our son understands Grief's Plight....





Most of the "getting through" has to do with relatives:





Can we "get through" this wedding? No. So we don't go.





Can we "get through" a family get-together? No. So we don't go.





Can we "get through" a Christmas gathering of the whole family? No. So we don't go.







Is this my life? Is this my new normal? The "Get Through" approach to life?




Like it or not: It IS what It IS....







Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Wednesday's Woe - Heart Scars ~by Tommy Prince






Wednesday's Woe


Heart Scars



~by Tommy Prince






"Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real, the events that cause them can never be forgotten."


~Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses





Scars are a powerful reminder we have a past. We have an emotional scar, an ever present reminder:




SHE IS NOT HERE




is accentuated every holiday,


every birthday,


every wedding,


every family get-together.




Holidays are brutal. So-called "holidays" are now worse than normal days.




I cannot take another special event without her. It is NOT special. Our baby is not here with us to enjoy it, to enjoy life.




A part of us is always dying, and those events are just reminders that our dream world, our incubator of love and sweetness and all that is sacred, was smashed to pieces in our faces.








Then add to it TOXICITY of family...



"Friends, like fish, start stinking after 3 days."



Family (when steeped in toxicity), like rotten fish, starts stinking after 3 seconds.





There Are Just Some Things We Cannot Do Any More...




I was planning to go to a family event recently.



In actuality, it was a d**n freak show. (Let's just say someone hired a body-guard for the event if that tells you anything...)



"We can do this 'for one of the kids,'" I was telling myself...



Then it hit me:




No, We Can't.




We Are Rendered As Helpless As Little Children Ourselves.




And If We Don't Protect Ourselves, I ask myself, Who Will?!






It's time now to be a good-enough parent to ourselves...





In a medical Intensive Care Unit, all possible germs are exterminated for safety purposes.

So too, in an "Emotional Intensive Care Unit,"

(that each of us in Child-Loss Grief needs to create for ourselves in our homes and in our communities that we may grieve in a healthy way),


All Possible Toxicity Must Be Eradicated...









Pictures, all from http://heart.gallery.sytes.org/
Scarred heart picture: http://bit.ly/a5SFm6
Sacred dream world of Love pic: http://bit.ly/cKRtAY
Emotional ICU pic: http://bit.ly/9WIz6v