Losing My Mind

Losing My Mind

God, my family thinks I’m losing my mind,

And some days I have thoughts of the same kind...

They’ll tell me something, and minutes later,

I’ll forget...my mind filled with things graver...

Like death, dying, and where’s my baby girl?!

My mind is spinning; my brain is awhirl—

Nothing’s no longer right in this wrong world!

I don’t belong here, without my li’l girl....

Into a living nightmare I’ve been hurled

Where thoughts and beliefs and feelings just swirl,

But no matter how I pine and ponder,

My mind cannot rest, but starts to wander:

Is there some thing I can DO t’ make it right . . .

To end this horrible state of my plight?

And please don’t tell me she’s not coming back;

I cannot take a life filled with such lack!

We went through Father’s Day; she wasn’t there—

It felt so wrong ...our fam'ly circle, square?

Voices so lively, yet SHE wasn’t there!

On a day so special, her place was bare...

How do I go on, a hole in my heart,

A knife in my gut? My world falls apart...

So, no, I don’t think so clearly just now;

My mind can’t conceive of just where or how

Life should go on; who am I anyhow—

A counselor with no heart? – We can’t allow

Clients to come in, to talk problems out

With the counselor whose heart has been ripped out!

So I guess it’s going to take awhile

Till my heart, soul, and spirit reconcile

That th' horrible absence that is present…

Is just part of our heav’nly investment—

She is now wearing her heav'nly vestment…

Though absent here, she is very present…

In the stillness, we will feel her essence

As she blesses our hearts with her presence.

But if we’re not quiet, we might miss her...

Quiet our minds...for by faith we’ll see her!

Quiet me now, with Your comfort draw near,

Till that Day my baby girl will appear...

Picture: Angel & Butterfly card.jpg

Written 6/22/09 - Poem – Losing My Mind – Angie Bennett Prince